NDE (near death Experience) Part 1

emlong · Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:43 pm Post subject:

You certainly have been through the fire, Ruth.
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Ruth · Member Joined: 29 Mar 2010 Posts: 1571 Location: Oregon

It takes what it takes. Remember, I'm a senior citizen, and have had a lifetime to accumulate them Very Happy

The trick for me has been learning not to live in fear. In the years when the allergies and breathing problems were acute I felt like the victim of every thoughtless person who smoked, wore heavy perfume, and used stinky personal care products. I felt like the victim of every spewing deisel truck I got gassed by in traffic. I spent those years living in fear and anger.

Seems like I've spent most of my adult life doing recovery work. My serenity is my most precious posession Very Happy

Ruth

emlong · Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:19 pm Post subject:

You sound very much like a "walk in" from a dimension higher than this one.I suspect many of us here are in varying degrees. Earth life can be very uncivilized and brutal. We chose it but it damn near kills some of us. Death isn't final, so we get to go elsewhere or return if we wish. I often think of this really brutal and scary summer camp (Camp Kanakuk) which I attended for 5 weeks every summer for 5 years straight. Kanakuk was a sort of hell for someone like me who was not a "joiner" and who was resistant to brain washing, but the place so challenged me that I couldn't resist going back just to see if I could survive it again. There was also this very, very difficult reward or medal I was working for, and it took me 5 tries to finally get it. That is when I ceased going though I was one year shy of the maximum camp age anyway. It was hell. but it was my hell, and that is what earth is for some of us too. We know there are better places to be, but earth is so beautifully ugly at times that we can hardly resist coming back again and again.
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Ruth · Member Joined: 29 Mar 2010 Posts: 1571 Location: Oregon

Kanakuk sounds a bit like boot camp. Teacing survival skills. It takes a lot of cojones to choose that when you have other choices.

I call us "old souls". I've recognized others since I was very young. We don't do denial. We can't not see. We live with cognitive dissonance that can make us feel as if we're crazy...the difference between what we're told and what we actually experience is so profound that it breaks many. Seeing life force directly made life difficult- I called it life force, and didn't realize that there were other names for it until I was much older.

Most of us never learned to do "normal" well enough to pass. We tend to be loners. Many have their deepest relationships with animals- they don't lie, and what you see is what they are, no hypocracy. Animals will never betray your trust.

Sound familiar? I wouldn't babble on like this if I didn't know that most of us have shared similar experiences. Putting them into words can often help in our healing journey. We are in the process of becoming...what? Growing into ourselves? Metamorphosis? Part of that is being able to let go of the old garbage, the old pain, and move into joy. As a warrior, I've found that joy is a strong protection.

Ruth

emlong · Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:13 pm Post subject:

The hardest thing is to forget. Middle age has been a surprising comfort because the structural aging of the brain can make it easier to forget the ugly things that may have had too big a role in forming one's self. It also becomes easier to assign value appropriately - the ugly but insignificant things assume their rightful place at the bottom of the barrel. It has been a real pleasure to look around and take stock of all my friends who made it to middle age. Not all of them did of course, but the vast majority of those who did are starting to enjoy life without any self consciousness and angst. They haven't yet seen it all, but they have seen enough to understand that the worst thing that can happen to you is to lose your sense of humor.
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